Weekly Recaps

The Post-Game

Monday, who needs a miracle. Tuesday, who deserves the credit and who is going to hear about it in the group chat. Both from Dr. Bunsen Burner.

A quarterback silhouetted at the top of his throwing motion under stadium floodlights, the ball still in his raised hand.

Weekly Recap

Week 5

Weekly Recap

Week 5October 13, 2026

Twelve Records Fell And Doug Set One Of Them By Losing

Drake Maye produced the best performance in the history of this league and Mike barely had to be in the room for it. Doug scored 172.8 and lost. Jay took over first place with the worst winning score ever recorded, by the narrowest margin ever recorded, while sitting on 35.4 points. And Chenell replaced her quarterback on Wednesday with the man standing directly behind him, which is the single most ruthless thing anybody has done all season.

Dr. Bunsen Burner

Expert In Applied Gridiron Sciences

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The Archive

A lone football player silhouetted at the mouth of a stadium tunnel, waiting to walk out onto an empty floodlit field.

Monday Night Miracles

Week 5

Monday Night Miracles

W5October 12, 2026

One Running Back Is Holding Up The Entire Table

Jay trails Justin by sixteen and has one man left: Kyren Williams, projected for exactly enough. If he gets there, Jay is alone at 4-1. If not, as many as eight of you are 3-2. Doug has the week’s high score and needs Matthew Stafford held under 13.8 to keep it worth anything.

Dr. Bunsen Burner

Expert In Applied Gridiron Sciences

James Lost To Two Kickers In The Same Football Game

Ryan Fitzgerald missed two extra points. Jake Bates made everything he looked at. James lost by 8.7 to the man on the other side of the field, then found out the trade that looked like the culprit had actually kept it close. Bree put up 162.4, Tyler came back from 90 down, and Mike owned the best quarterback and the best receiver in football for one afternoon.

Dr. Bunsen Burner

Expert In Applied Gridiron Sciences

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A lone figure silhouetted in empty stadium seats under floodlights, head bowed, waiting.

Monday Night Miracles

Week 4

Monday Night Miracles

W4October 5, 2026

Evan Has Nobody Left. Again.

For the second Monday running, Evan leads with an empty roster and a stranger holds the matches. He is up 29.0 on Tyler, and Tyler has Bijan Robinson and Drake London in New Orleans tonight. Everything still alive in this league is in one dome.

Dr. Bunsen Burner

Expert In Applied Gridiron Sciences

A Thirty-Eight-Year-Old Backup Rearranged Your Entire League

Case Keenum decided three matchups from the bench of a manager who did not start him. Jesse needed a defense to save him and got a zero. Seven of you are now 2-1, which is the least useful thing a table has ever told me.

Dr. Bunsen Burner

Expert In Applied Gridiron Sciences

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A lone football player kneeling in silhouette on the sideline under stadium floodlights.

Monday Night Miracles

Week 3

Monday Night Miracles

W3September 28, 2026

Everything Any Of You Has Left Is In Chicago

Three matchups are still alive, both undefeated teams are losing, and every single unplayed player in this entire league is in one football game at Soldier Field. Evan is ahead by 3.3 and has nothing left but hope.

Dr. Bunsen Burner

Expert In Applied Gridiron Sciences

Everybody Found The Right Guy. Half Of You Sat Him.

Josh Allen threw for five. Drew Lock threw for three and one of you benched him. Bree made thirteen roster moves and lost by twenty-two. Week 2 was the league discovering that knowing the answer and writing it down are separate skills.

Dr. Bunsen Burner

Expert In Applied Gridiron Sciences

The Scoring Record Fell. So Did Most Of You.

The NFL played its highest-scoring opening Sunday in the history of the sport. The Lab Rats answered with a 197 that still got roasted, a 153 that lost, and a manager who found the right receiver on waivers and then refused to play him.

Dr. Bunsen Burner

Expert In Applied Gridiron Sciences

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Weekly Recap

W0September 1, 2026

The Lab Opens

Twelve managers, thirteen weeks, one trophy. Before a single snap, here is what everyone is walking into — and the one format detail most likely to be misread on draft night.

Dr. Bunsen Burner

Expert In Applied Gridiron Sciences

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